Wedding Planning Series 1

Your First Steps to Planning a Wedding that Feels Authentic and Meaningful

Planning a wedding can be daunting. It is likely to be the biggest, and most complex, celebration that you and your fiance will ever host. The thought of selecting venues and vendors, juggling the expectations of friends and family, managing budgets, and finding a way to bring your vision of the perfect wedding to life, can be totally overwhelming. In this series of blogs, we will break down the planning process into bite-sized chunks.

Inevitably, there will be moments when wedding planning will be stressful, but with the help of these blogs, it doesn’t need to be torture.

This first blog encourages you to have some in-depth conversations about why you’re getting married in the first place; exploring your “why”, your “purpose” and your “values”. Answers to these questions will determine the whole look and feel of your wedding. They should come before you look at any venue and book any wedding vendor.

YOUR “WHY”

When two people make a formal exchange of vows and become united as a married couple, something profound and really special takes place. A meaningful wedding recognises this profundity; it honours, and celebrates, this beautiful moment.

A common regret I hear from married couples is that they got so caught up in the minutiae of the wedding planning process, that they ended up losing sight of this. So, when you first come to think about your wedding, ask yourselves this - what makes the exchange of marriage vows important, special and profound to you both?

One helpful exercise is to sit down and write a ‘Mission Statement’ that sums up your love and commitment to each other through marriage. This doesn’t have to be a novel - it could be a favourite line from a song or a poem, an inspirational quote, or a funny little expression you both share. For the hubby and I, we talked about ‘Unconditional Acceptance’. That simple phrase became the basis for our ceremony and vows.

YOUR “PURPOSE”

Once you’ve bounced around some ideas about your “why” and written a mission statement, you can now think about the purpose of your wedding. Ask yourself: why are we having a public wedding? Why are we including friends and family? You could just slip away and elope, after all.

There are many excellent reasons to be married before friends and family. Maybe you want one of the most important days of your life to be officially documented, witnessed and shared with your loved ones.

Perhaps you wanted to honour your family, or your culture and beliefs, by having a traditional wedding. Maybe you see your wedding as an expression of your uniqueness and/or unity as a couple. Or perhaps, for you, a public wedding is a vehicle for uniting and bonding your friends and family.

But your purpose doesn’t have to be so cerebral. Other equally valid reasons include: a desire to be the star of the show for a day, to share the things you love most with those you care about the most, to have an opportunity to be fantastic hosts, to repay kindness, to work together on your first major joint venture, and of course, you may just want to throw an amazing party.

So, what’s your purpose?

Your answers to the Why and Purpose of your wedding will invariably shape your wedding planning journey - how it’s structured, how it looks, how you allocate your budget, who you invite, and what you do.

YOUR “VALUES”

During your wedding planning journey, you will be pushed and pulled in all sorts of directions. There will be times when you disagree with each other and wonder why you’re getting married at all! This is why establishing a core identity of your wedding celebration early is so important - laying down Your Why, Your Purpose, and Your Values.

Taking time to think about your shared wedding values will help create a path back to each other in times of conflicting opinions - use your shared values as the benchmark for making decisions, and above all, creating a unified front.

Here are some of the values engaged couples have shared with me:
●     Sustainability, and being as eco-friendly as possible
●     Supporting local businesses
●     Giving to charity
●     Celebrating family
●     Giving back to family/friends/community
●     Being financially responsible
●     Being independent
●     Celebrating our culture
●     Celebrating achievement
●     Creativity
●     Kindness and generosity
●     Being authentic/true to yourself
●     Expressing/standing-up for socio-political issues, e.g. Inclusion
●     Integrity.

SOME FINAL THROUGHTS

Establishing Your Why, Your Purpose, and Your Values which you share are some of the most important First Steps on your journey toward a wedding. These steps can help keep you focused, centered, but of most importance, they are definitely you - what makes you as a couple so beautiful and special.

AUTHOR:

Lyndal McKenzie
Owner and Lead Designer,
Little Lace Flower Company
Wedding and Event Styling, Floral Design and Bespoke Crafting