Wedding Planning Series 3

Who’s Coming To The Wedding? Working Out Your Guest List

Planning a wedding can be daunting. It is likely to be the biggest, and most complex, celebration that you and your finance will ever host. The thought of selecting venues and vendors, juggling the expectations of friends and family, managing budgets, and finding a way to bring your vision of the perfect wedding to life, can be totally overwhelming.

In this series of blogs, we will break down the planning process into bite-sized chunks.

Inevitably, there will be moments when wedding planning will be stressful, but with the help of these blogs,  it doesn’t need to be torture. This, the  third blog in this series, provides a useful guide to working out your guest list and who will be involved in the planning and execution of your big day

WHAT SIZE WEDDING DO YOU WANT?

The average price per person for food and drink at a wedding comes in at $120 NZD. For just twenty people, that’s already close to two and a half thousand dollars, so it is important to consider the head count for your event in terms of what you can afford.

No doubt you will already have plenty of thoughts concerning who you would like to invite to the wedding. But to obtain a more concrete guest list, consider some of these questions:

Are you more comfortable with a small, intimate group? Or do you want a large party that includes many guests? Perhaps somewhere in the middle? Are there cultural or family pressures dictating the size of your guest list?

Typically, wedding sizes can be described as follows:
●     Micro: up to 50 guests
●     Intimate: 50 - 70 guests
●     Average: 70 - 150 guests
●     Large: 150 + guests

Once you have a very rough idea of the wedding size you would ideally like, it’s time to consider your budget and  how many guests you can realistically afford. Not only do you need to factor in the $120/head catering average, you need to remember that the bigger the guest list, the bigger the venue you will need. Large venues are often more expensive and your choices are much more limited. If your dream wedding involves a heritage building with quaint decor, you may be restricted to inviting no more than 100 guests. To help you think about your guest list, look up a few local venues to get an idea of capacity and costs.

Even if your budget can cover the venue and food for a large wedding, you will need to consider how much of your budget you would like to have left over for the other important elements of a wedding - a photographer, decoration and entertainment, for example.

Finally, if there are family and cultural pressures to have a large guest list, can you ask for help to pay for the extra cost? There are no wrong answers - do what feels right, and fits within your budget of course.

CREATING YOUR “MUST-HAVE” GUEST LIST

Armed with all this information, you will now be ready to draw up your ‘Must-Have’ guest list. This should be relatively obvious. At this stage, you should also have diplomatic conversations with immediate family and close friends about any strong feelings they have about who should be on this list. Whilst they shouldn’t have the final say, it is a kindness and mark of respect to ask.

There are two factors that may make finalising this list difficult. First, there may be concerns about guest compatibility. Family feuds, split families and estrangements can create a minefield for you to navigate! In an ideal world, this may be solved by having assigned seating to keep warring parties apart. If this won’t be enough, seek the advice and support of neutral family members and friends. Booking a consultation session with a Wedding Planner might also help. Perhaps you could consider having a small celebration for those you simply can’t invite to your wedding. Perhaps you could visit Auntie Marge for a weekend? Have a meal out with cousin Bob?

The second tricky issue you may have to deal with is whether or not to invite children. Including children can have a big impact on overall guest numbers. Children also change the vibe of your wedding. Some of you will love the idea of a kid-friendly, family-oriented wedding. Others of you will hate the thought of needy and/or noisy kids potentially disrupting your big day.

If you decide against children, be aware that this may make it impossible for some of your loved ones to attend and it may hurt and offend others. Be prepared to talk your choice through. On the other hand, if you do decide to include children, but are worried about possible disruptions, consider hiring a child-care professional, investing in children’s entertainment and/or providing activity bags.

Whatever challenges you face when drawing up your ‘Must-Have’ list, it is best to address this as early as possible through good communication and strategic planning!

YOUR '“NICE-TO-HAVE” LIST

Once you have established your ‘Must-Haves’, think about the rest of your guest list. This flowchart might prove helpful in your decisions:  

SOME FINAL THOUGHTS

Hopefully this Blog and flowchart will help you navigate through some tough decision-making. Take time over this step. Start by drawing up a rough list, including your friends and family as suggested in the flow chart. Then explore what venue and catering options would be available for that number of guests. Do these fit with your vision for your wedding? Do these fit within your budget?  If your rough guest list isn’t a good fit, revise it. The important thing is to work on your guest list as a couple and stay united. Then, if any friction arises and compromises are needed, you will face them together.

AUTHOR:

Lyndal McKenzie
Owner and Lead Designer,
Little Lace Flower Company
Wedding and Event Styling, Floral Design and Bespoke Crafting

 Photo Credits (in order of appearance): LLFC, Jo Moore Photographer, Amy Schultz Photography,  Jo Moore Photographer, LLFC, LLFC